People who know me wouldn't describe me as a god fearing woman. I've always had by back turned on that subject. I grew up going to church, but after taking a few biology classes I began to question it all. It doesn't help when I read things like:
"always remember your place and always remember to count your blessings, because we deserve none of them yet God is so gracious."
What the heck does that mean? Are you telling me none of us deserve to be happy? Is GOD that intimidating that he wants us to suffer at every turn...and only if you're lucky will you truly see the wonderful blessings he has to offer?
Oh dear I have a lot of questions about this subject, but I don't know if I'll ever accept the answers I receive. I know lots of people who are happy with HIM, and invite HIS love into their hearts...Why am I so against it?
I have been in a bit of a funk lately. I have constantly been thinking negatively about almost every situation I'm in. I knew I needed help.
I came across a this blog www.galadarling.com and it has completely changed my perspective and thoughts. Gala Darling, the writer of the blog, is this amazing women who is exactly who she wants to be.
She promotes "The Radical Self Love Project". The first thing Gala asks readers to do, is write in a radical self love bible and list at least 100 things you love about yourself. Things so simple as: I can clean a car like no one else, I have a "don't worry about it" attitude, I am compassionate, I love to make others smile. I'll be honest it's been hard to come up with things I LOVE about myself.
As I started out with the list I began to realize that I wrote down things I didn't know if others would agree with. I wrote down "I AM KIND", and I had hard time believing it. I know I haven't been kind lately.
The dictionary describes kind as:
kind 1(knd)
adj.kind·er, kind·est
1. Of a friendly, generous, or warm-hearted nature.
2. Showing sympathy or understanding; charitable: a kind word.
3. Humane; considerate: kind to animals.
4. Forbearing; tolerant: Our neighbor was very kind about the window we broke.
5. Generous; liberal: kind words of praise.
6. Agreeable; beneficial: a dry climate kind to asthmatics.
So even though I knew deep down I was indeed kind, I had to remember what that word actually means and start deploying this "kind" person I wanted to be. To rekindle some of those lost qualities. I think that's exactly the purpose of the 100 things I love about myself list. Simply to think you are these things and you will be.
So if you need a little self help, I would encourage you to explore her blog and soon you too will love yourself.
6. Evaluate what you’re feeding yourself… & I’m not talking about food! I regard all the media we consume as like food for the soul. What you really have to ask yourself is whether the television shows, movies, music & art you indulge in are enhancing your life or detracting from it.
I love trashy reality television as much as the next person — hell, I could name every America’s Next Top Model contestant in history! — but I know that watching it is detrimental to my life & to my existence. It’s all just drama & nonsense & it perpetuates so much negativity about body image. Maybe this sounds a bit far-fetched, but if we’re the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with, surely the TV we watch & the music we listen can be just as influential!
By the way, my definition of what you’re feeding yourself includes the people you associate with online! Are there a few people on Facebook who simply update so they have an outlet for whinging & complaining? What about that dude on Twitter who hates his job (& wants everyone to know about it)? Do you read blogs by women who talk incessant shit about other people? It’s time to cut these people out of your life. You won’t miss them, I promise!
This year, perhaps because the kids are older, I've decided to get more crafty and DIY more.
I made Jeff a card...ok I actually make him cards all the time, so this wasn't really a stretch for me. But I'm blogging about it this year. I made it quickly last night while he was putting the kids to bed. I used a purple pen and then the markers that I had on hand to fill in a few hearts. I'll wait to fill the back in with some mushy love stuff for later.
Rhett thinks its hilarious to shove cars under the stove, and then try and get them with this old plastic golf club. Well he put a few too far under there, and was unable to retrieve them. It was a real "boys" job, and everyone had to help. Rhett got his flashlight, Jeff got the retrieval tool (real golf club), and Jonas counted how many he could see (6). I love that although the little boys were more of a nuisance, Jeff let them be part of the retrieval mission.
On another note, it's only 2 weeks till baby girl Marshall arrives (she better not be late)! We are all excited and nervous for her arrival. I hope that she will be healthy. I have seriously been thinking about how now that I'm 32 things may not be perfect. I did all the pre-screening for Down Syndrome, but you just never know what the world will send in your direction. Everything will change regardless of the outcome, and I realize I must prepare myself for anything. I think the major factor in my thinking is this birth story I read on a blog yesterday. Heart breaking and lovely all at the same time.
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